Hello to you,
Happy fall. Hope you’ve been able to witness some of the amazing celestial events we’ve had recently: a full moon, a supermoon, an equinox, a partial solar eclipse, and the dramatic total lunar eclipse which brought us a swoon-worthy blood-red moon. While I found all this celestial beauty spectacular, it was also a bit unnerving. A full moon while Mars and Venus were retrograde was intense. I’m still shaking that off!
A story to share: Every month I receive the most gratifying feedback about my newsletters—the insights I’ve shared, how some of you have found your voice in what I’m talking about, things that have helped with making tweaks to your diet and better self-care, or that something I’ve shared made you laugh or cry. Mostly, you just report how much you enjoy reading the newsletters and that you look forward to the next one. This has been a joy to receive. It’s also been a surprise, because I would never have thought I would be considered a good writer. At times I’ve even thought: Are you reading the newsletter I wrote? Here’s why. I’ve had a lifelong struggle with grammar, well, English, for that matter. And writing? Well, I didn’t have writer’s block, I had writer’s BLOCKADE!
When I moved to Santa Barbara, I decided to seek help in the areas of my life that I felt the weakest. I sensed that my weaknesses were holding me back in many ways and that it was affecting my confidence. If my friends, clients, acquaintances found out my secret, would they think less of me? Would they like me? How would this affect my work, my relationship? Could I trust?
I went to the Santa Barbara library and put in a request for a tutor. They granted me three! It was one of those third time is a charm stories, because the first two just were not a good match. Not bad, but just not right. Utilizing a few programs at the library along with the undivided attention I got with my tutor, Ann, I felt myself becoming stronger and less afraid to put things down “on paper” (now the monitor). Within weeks, even texting became more fun! I don’t feel I’m hiding anymore; I’m more open and exposed. This experience has brought forth the best in me when it comes to communicating what’s on my mind and what I’m feeling.
Why am I telling you this and how does it relate to my work? One reason is that I have always longed to share currents—whatever is alive for me, work-related or not! And to be better at being a voice for many, because when I get emails from readers who feel I am speaking for them, or who have identified with what I’ve written, felt relief, empathy, happiness, sadness, I feel a connection. The part that IS work related is that when my self-esteem suffered over writing and communicating, I felt I had no “place in the world.” This was affecting how I worked. My work has changed immensely since I’ve started writing. Yes, I can trust.
I’m convinced that most of the things that we may be hiding and are fearful of showing are most likely governing how we show up or act out in life. Getting help or support in the areas where we are most afraid will alter the person you are. You will find strength in yourself that will translate to being there for others. And if you’re not someone who is dealing with any issues, perhaps spending time with someone who is in need through tutoring, guiding, being of service or just listening in some way will give you deeper value and understanding of yourself and your relation to the world.
Full disclosure: I don’t love writing. I still stare at a blank screen and get stage fright. I have a lot to learn, but something in me has sprouted. Something powerful happened when I threw out my fears of grammar, usage, syntax, and all the formal rules that held me hostage and began to write from my heart. I found my voice. And sure, grammar and all the rules are important to good writing, but most important is the real me talking to the real you.
Below I’ve shared an audio file (blue button below) of an interview with Ann and me participating in a radio program produced by a Mormon Church radio program on the positive effects of adult literacy programs offered through public libraries. While I have no affiliation with the Mormon Church, I applaud their work in promoting literacy and was pleased to be a participant in reflecting the value of something that has deeply affected my life. Ann and I are the first interviewees in the audio, starts at: 01:29 and again at 12:50. Enjoy!
My video is now up on my website on the landing page! Thank you Jay Farbman (video), Rachel Yoder (model) and Karma Moffett (music)!
I'm on a mission to finding my true self. Letting go of the old identity I've created to find the new. I would love to have you there to witness and to share the experience.